May 17th, 2012
I was sitting in the carpool line listening to NPR when I heard the story of a Methodist pastor who left her parish and later announced she was an atheist. As I listened to her story, I quickly experienced a dozen reactions: judgment of her for not discussing any of her personal struggle with her congregation, personal rejection that yet another thinking person could not reconcile reason with faith, and jealousy that she could walk away from a vocation that is an all-consuming way of life . . . and be lauded for it.
The next day, not yet having heard the NPR story of the outgoing clergywoman, a Presbyterian pastor friend shared this quote by Tomas Halik, “The real difference between faith and atheism is patience. Atheists are not wrong, only impatient . . . . Faith is a patient endurance of the ambiguity of the world and the experience of God’s absence. . . . Patience with others is love./ Patience with self is hope./ Patience with God is faith.” Clearly, I do not know the full story of this former Methodist pastor or the substance of her struggle and journey that led her to no longer find truth in the Christian tradition. My desire here is not to speak to her choices or her journey, but I do stand beside her as a doubter and seeker of truth. The questions she has raised are not new or frightening to me. If anything, I wonder sometimes what keeps me within the fold and what prompts me to continue rethinking and reinterpreting the way I understand the story of God.
God knows, I am impatient. Often. Impatient with my children, impatient with myself, impatient when trying to figure out what the next thing will be for work or school or home or dinner. I work consciously to resist my urge to know all and hurry through all. Being aware of my impatience is a good task for my life in the church, as well. Anyone who is having honest conversations about the future of the church in North America is talking about dwindling congregations and gigantic campuses to maintain. We are shifting from doing the old programs of a church week to a more fluid notion of understanding ourselves as living within a story as local faith communities that live out a theology together. We easily grow impatient when wondering what the next step will be, and that impatience can prevent us from fully seeing and knowing the present. What we have known as church for years is dying, and much of it really needs to perish.
But as I sit with my honest questions and ponder the complicated relationship between my deepest fears and deepest hopes, I remain a person of faith in a God who moves and creates and weaves a story. For weeks now I have reread the introductory words from Lauren Winner’s newest book, Still: Notes on a Mid-Faith Crisis. Her words on faith and doubt speak to the impatient, unknowing, waiting place of life and ministry and risky theism. Winner nudges us toward understanding doubt as an element of faith, as Paul Tillich suggested. She writes of the doubting place:
“[I]n those same moments of strained belief, of not knowing where or if God is, it has also seemed that the Christian story keeps explaining who and where I am, better than any other story I know. On the days when I think I have a fighting chance at redemption, at change, I understand it to be these words and these rituals and these people who will change me.” (preface, page xiv)
I want to find out how the story ends. I want to know how God’s story will continue to write my own. I really do want to jump ship sometimes, but I just can’t do it. I’m too impatient! I want to find out how that next chapter goes.
Elizabeth Mangham Lott lives in Richmond, Virginia. In addition to her mothering job, she also serves as associate pastor at Richmond’s Westover Baptist Church.
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May 14th, 2012
When I was a child, my mother cut red roses from her garden and pinned them on our church clothes. We, her five children, wore red roses, and she wore a white one. She explained the wearing of roses was to honor our mothers both living and deceased. As an elementary-aged child, I did not question this tradition of wearing roses to church.
When I was in seminary, roses on Mother’s Day led to an emotionally charged moment in worship. On that fateful morning the young children of the congregation went to the front of the sanctuary to be handed a rose to give to their moms. Gleeful little faces ran back to moms with calls of “This is for you, Mommy.” What a sweet moment until a woman in the front started yelling, “I want one. I want a rose.” This woman was a special needs adult who attended regularly. We all knew her, or so we thought. Turns out, she was yelling because she wanted to be a mother. She had asked her parents and her caregivers if she could have a child. She had been told, “No.” When those roses were passed out, her heart collapsed into pleas of wanting a rose, or as I now know, a child. The quick thinking, compassionate person seated next to her procured a rose just for her. In that moment, I began to question celebrating Mother’s Day as a part of corporate worship.
Later on, I served as a staff minister for another church. As we were planning worship for May, the music minister listed the hymns adoring godly families and loving mothers that he had chosen, and the pastor asked if the floral committee was doing the arrangement of roses. Remembering the cry of the lady who so wanted to be a mother, I asked, “Why are we celebrating mothers when so many families are blended? When there are people who are alienated from their mothers? When there are families struggling with fertility issues? Why not just celebrate worship as usual?” I was told by the other church staff, “Our congregation will expect us to celebrate Mother’s Day. There will be angry voice messages and curt comments later in the week if we ignore mothers. We can’t ignore Mother’s Day. Therefore, we will do as we have always done.”
It is easy to fall into the pattern of doing as we have always done while ignoring the real lives of our congregants. It is easy to forget that motherhood, either being a mother, wanting to be a mother, or losing a part of the mothering role, is complicated. Mother’s Day while joyous and sentimental for many congregants is a reminder of unhealed hurts and unfulfilled desires for others. My question is “Should we honor mothers during corporate worship when doing so causes discomfort to those for whom mother is not a joyous, sentimental role?” I come from a long tradition of honoring mothers at church, but I also value the stories of friends and family who feel the pain of attending worship and feeling singled out because they do not have a good relationship with their moms or because of fertility issues. I believe worship should be a place of welcome and healing for all. Therefore, I now question whether Mother’s Day should have a spot in corporate worship.
Tammy Abee Blom is an ordained Baptist minister, regular contributor to BWIM’s blog, mother of two amazing daughters, teacher for children’s Sunday School, and lives in Columbia, South Carolina.
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May 11th, 2012
May 6, 2012
Dearest Meg,
On this special day when your gifts as minister are recognized and blessed by God and this congregation, I offer another blessing represented by this stole. Two years ago, at my ordination, you laid hands on me and joined a community that I carry within me everywhere I go. On that afternoon, I was presented with this stole.
This stole was given to me by Rev. Alica Kirkpatrick-Bremer, my mentor and my sister. She serves as the associate pastor of Auburn First Baptist Church in Auburn, Alabama. This stole came to her by way of Rev. Ginny Brown Daniel, who serves as the pastor of the Plymouth United Church of Christ in Houston, Texas.
Meg, unnumbered women called by the Holy One to the ordained ministry have worn and passed on this stole. This stole is to be received and then given away. For two years I have worn this stole and now it is time for me to pass it on. Meg, you are charged to receive and wear this stole knowing that in the Spirit there are untold women blessing and standing with you in your ministry. You may not keep this stole forever for there are untold women to follow you. You are also charged to give this stole away to another woman in ministry.
In grace, as you wear this stole, may you continue to live in God’s love for you and to live out God’s love to all people. May this stole represent for you the need to give and to receive. Hear and live these words as blessing, offered as a prayer on behalf of all God’s people…
May you love and be loved.
May you nourish and be nourished.
May you lead and be led.
May you know abundant life!
Now and forever. Amen.
Love,
Rev. Ruth Perkins Lee
Meg Olive is family support specialist at Open Door Community House, Inc., Columbus, Georgia. Ruth Perkins Lee is the minister of students at Auburn First Baptist Church, Auburn, Alabama.
Rev. Alica Kirkpatrick-Bremer wrote the original version of this letter for the ordination of Ruth Perkins Lee. Ruth updated it for Meg Olive’s ordination service.
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May 4th, 2012
Pulaski Heights Baptist in Little Rock, Arkansas is located in a great, historic neighborhood. The community is now comprised largely of young, hip, educated folks, all interested in healthy lifestyles. Young families, singles, as well as some seniors, live in homes in the neighborhood that date from the 1930s-50s.
A year ago we at Pulaski Heights did not know many of our neighbors. Each Wednesday evening at supper we saw dozens of walkers and joggers. We saw parents pushing baby strollers. And we wondered, “How can we meet these folks? Do they even know who we are and what goes on here?”
What was born of the prayers and discussions that followed those questions is the Hillcrest Farmers Market, which operates May through September on Saturdays from 7 a.m. to noon. The organizing of the market followed a church-wide study about how to be “missional” by serving the community. The market is supported through a grant from the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship’s It’s Time program.
We saw that neighbors were interested in community service, and we hoped the market would lend a relevance to our church’s ministries. We hoped by seeing what we do they might also learn about us and our church and be open to learning more about Christ who motivates our living.
On Saturday, May 5, 2012, we will celebrate the grand opening of our second season. In the last year, hundreds of shoppers have come by. They visit with each other and church folks, sip coffee, buy a gourmet sandwich from the Food Truck, sit on the church steps, and enjoy a leisurely morning.
The market currently has fifteen vendors, all whom bring locally grown products. Farmers agree they will sell only what they grow or produce. The market offers seasonal produce as well as cheese, eggs, pasture-raised meats, jams, jellies, and baked goods.
Each Saturday the church puts up a hospitality tent and hands out information about Pulaski Heights. Shoppers may preregister for Vacation Bible School or other church activities. We also invite folks to sign up for emails about other special events they might enjoy. The church sponsors a children’s tent each week, offering craft fun for children as their parents shop. There is also a children’s gardening project, “The Mustard Seed Ministry,” which gives kids a chance to plant seeds in the flower gardens at the market and learn basic gardening skills to carry through life. The youth serve coffee and water and accept donations to their summer mission travel. The coffee is donated by a local coffee shop.
The market has a food donation program too. Produce donated at the end of the market by vendors is picked up by Dorcas House—a shelter for women and children who are homeless or are victims of domestic abuse. The vendors receive a contribution receipt for their tax records.
“This ministry may be the most significant thing we have done in a number of years,” said Randy Hyde, Pulaski Height’s senior pastor. The church has had enthusiastic response from the residents and merchants. We have experienced positive support from the congregation. We believe we have found an ideal new program to engage us with our community for healthy living, to serve our neighbors, and for faith growth as well.”
Carolyn Staley is associate pastor of discipleship and missions at Pulaski Height Baptist Church, Little Rock, Arkansas. Carolyn serves on the Baptist Women in Ministry Leadership Team.
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May 1st, 2012
It’s been a busy few months. On February 5, 2012, I accepted the call to be the pastor of Sharon Baptist Church in Smithfield, North Carolina. I spent February and March transitioning out of my position in campus ministry, a ministry I’d been a part of in some way for eighteen years and a campus minister for almost nine, and got my first house ready for the market. I had great aspirations for Lent but the truth is, I really wound up trying to survive the lenten season with all of the transitions going on in my life.
I began at Sharon Baptist on April 1. I knew I was doing the right thing, was certain this was where God was leading, but honestly, I was not sure how I felt about leaving campus ministry. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to be the pastor of a church. I found myself thinking, “What am I doing? What if I don’t have what it takes?”
But it’s been incredible. I know we are still in the honeymoon phase of our relationship (the church and me), but I love being a pastor more than I thought possible. Here are some of the things I love.
- I love preaching. I love “hosting” worship each week, welcoming people into the sanctuary and a time of worship. I love offering prayers over people. This is not very eloquent . . . but it’s such a big deal. I get to step in on their behalf and communicate with God directly for all of us. It is an incredible responsibility.
- I love the children. I did not expect for the kids to take to me so quickly. I love that a three-year-old crawled in my lap at an event on Sunday afternoon to snuggle with me and have a tickle fight. I love that one of the four-year-old girls in the church was so excited I was coming that she was announcing it to everyone, including random people in Walmart, that they were getting a new pastor and her name was Charity. I love that a seven-year-old has nicknamed me “PC” . . . Pastor Charity. I love that a four-year-old boy would say a prayer in church because, “If Pastor Charity asked me to do it, then I will.” It such an incredible opportunity not just for me to feel loved on, but an opportunity for them to feel loved by me and then see me offer prayers for them, preach and le,ad worship.
- I love how I am using all of my gifts in ways I didn’t know they could be used. Only in the pastorate would one afternoon find you kneeling in the halls of a nursing home holding the hand of a woman who doesn’t know who you are (and sometimes who she is), lead a Bible study discussion that night, have lunch with a well-known business man in the area the next day (a lunch that is interrupted by a phone call from a gubernatorial candidate) and then go sit on bleachers into the night cheering on the softball team.
I love how God is using every part of me for this role. I love the people of Sharon Baptist Church already. I am excited to see what God has in store for our future.
Charity Roberson is pastor of Sharon Baptist Church, Smithfield, North Carolina. Follow her blog Living Fabulousness.
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