Painting the Church by Pam Durso

December 19th, 2011

Last Saturday, I stood next to two teenage girls, both holding paint rollers and both wearing paint-splattered shirts. I shook my head and marveled for these two girls are our “church painters.” They had a little help, but the two of them had just painted the majority of the walls in our church’s new sanctuary. At one point, I said to them, “What other church do you know that would put teenage girls in charge of painting its worship space?” They laughed, and one replied, “I know! Isn’t it cool?”

I must admit that the paint job was not completely evened out, and a few areas needed some touch-up work. But for me, I found much delight in their presence, in their laughter, and in this new friendship formed over a paint can. I also found much joy in the fact that I am a member of church that hands paint rollers to teenagers and invites them to be part of the process of creating a beautiful place for our congregation to gather.

Pam Durso is executive director of Baptist Women in Ministry, Atlanta, Georgia.

Sisters of Visitation by Pam Durso

December 15th, 2011

Earlier this week I discovered that I live about five miles from a Sisters of Visitation monastery. The monastery is located in Snellville, Georgia–not too far from the Target where I do most of my shopping. On Tuesday, I set off to find this monastery, hoping to spend some time praying in their chapel and walking on their grounds. But I discovered that it not a monastery that is open to the public. They are a cloistered community with only a handful of nuns living and working together.

Although I was greatly disappointed to find the gate locked, I was amazed by the serenity and quietness of the small campus. Mostly, however, I was intrigued by the name “Sisters of Visitation” and by the inspiring statue that stands on the front lawn–a statue of two women reaching out to one another. The two women have to be Mary and Elizabeth, embracing as they share the good news of their pregnancies.

I sat in my car on Tuesday, thinking about the relationships of Mary and Elizabeth. While they were cousins, I sense that they were also “sisters of the heart.”  And I read between the lines in Luke’s gospel and imagine their conversations. In my mind, I can see the two women, sitting in silence, holding hands, sharing a knowing smile. I love the sisterhood shared by Mary and Elizabeth.

I have my own “sisters of the heart,” and I recently had opportunity to gather with some of my favorite women. I gave myself a birthday party–to celebrate turning fifty! Women from various segments of my life came together, and I had the honor of introducing them–not by their job titles or by their roles in life. Instead I shared briefly their importance to me–how they have touched my life.

In planning the party and in experiencing that night of celebration, I have given much thought to the significant role that women friends have in my life, and I have been reminded again of how blessed I am. I have deep friendships, spread wide across age, geography, and life experience.

One of my friends who attended is actually my sister, Kenda. She is one of my younger sisters. We have shared memories of growing up in a family of four sisters—no brothers.  What I have learned from Kenda is that sisters can be close friends, and having a sister, who is also my friend, means that I have someone with whom I share memories of the past but can also share struggles of the present and dreams for the future.  My friendship with Kenda adds richness to my life, and I was pretty amazed that she flew from Dallas to Atlanta to be at my birthday party!

But Kenda was not the only one who flew in for the party. My friend, Julie, also came from Dallas to celebrate with me. I wish, oh how I wish, that I journaled. Because if I did, I would have written down all the wonderful, crazy, funny things that Julie has said to me. She has made me laugh harder than most anyone I know. And because she makes me laugh, she also makes me cry. She has pulled stories out of me—and I have found myself telling her my deep, dark secrets. Laughter and tears are somehow intimately connected—and I am thankful for a friend who laughs with me and cries with me and is willing to travel all the way from Texas just to come to my party!

My good friend, Devita, also attended my party. One of my all-time favorite things to do in life is have lunch or breakfast or coffee with Devita. I always take my notebook and pen—because I have to take notes. Our lunches end up not being not so much about food but about solving all the problems of the world, organizing everyone and everything—and I like to write down all our ideas. But what I love most about lunches with Devita is that we don’t just plot and plan, we get to work and make things happen. My time with Devita gives me energy, brings out my creative side. She inspires me, pushes me to think and to do more, dream bigger. Everyone should have a friend like Devita!

My birthday buddy, Suzanah, drove from Florida to be present for my birthday. Suzanah and I share November 30 birthdays. We don’t, however, share birth years. Suzanah is still far, far away from fifty. I am the “older” friend, but she looks past my ancientness and loves me anyway! For the past five years, Suzanah and I have celebrated our birthdays together–not always on November 30, but we have always managed to be together near the date of our births. Over the years, Suzanah has taught me many, many things—including to love traveling. She marched me to the top of Diamond Head in Honolulu in the summer of 2010, and one day she drove me around the entire island. And we vowed that someday we would move to Hawaii! Suzanah is the only reason I ended up in Prague and Germany in 2009. I was convinced that I could not go, but she promised to go with me! And she did! And while we were there, I made her take a long, long train trip all the way to Wittenberg, and on a very cold January afternoon, we sat in Martin Luther’s church on a beautiful wooden pew and talked about courage and prophetic preaching and living fully. And I carry a snapshot of that day in my heart—and am thankful that Suzanah has taught me so much about courage and convictions and friendship.

LeAnn also came to celebrate my birthday. I met LeAnn back in 2005. She was a recent seminary graduate, serving on church staff in Atlanta. She was single—and frankly, she seemed so very young to me. But I watched and soon discovered that she was already such a strong leader, a passionate minister.  And then life changed for LeAnn—she got married, moved to California, then moved back to Georgia. She had a sweet baby boy—and in the midst of all those changes, LeAnn walked me along with me and dreamed with me. Hers was the voice of discernment that I listened to when I pondered the crazy idea of leaving a known job and venturing into the full-time world of Baptist Women in Ministry. Hers was the voice of reason—she asked me the hard questions, walked me through proper procedure and organizational structuring, and best of all, hers was the voice of love and encouragement—she told me to follow my heart, and I did. And I am thankful beyond words for LeAnn’s voice, her love, and her never-ending encouragement.

These are but a few of the women who attended. Grace, Sarah, Jessica, Emily, Gwen, Robin, Vicki, Libby, Carol, Renee, Aimee, and Alex all were there at the party too. I was pretty overwhelmed that so many came! And blessed, very blessed!

While I am not cloistered together with my “Sisters of Visitation,” I am bound to them by love and friendship! They are my “sisters of the heart.”

Pam Durso is the executive director of Baptist Women in Ministry, Atlanta, Georgia. 

Celebrating Fifty by Pam Durso

November 30th, 2011

Fifty years ago, on November 30, 1961, I was born. So yes, today is my fiftieth birthday. In some ways, the number fifty shocks me. I can’t believe I have really been around that long. I feel so much younger than what I thought fifty would feel like, and some days I still don’t feel like a grown up.

But in other, more important ways, fifty thrills me.  I have lived for fifty years, and I have lived well for fifty years. I have fulfilled my dream of teaching and have had the blessing of teaching in two fine Baptist seminaries. I have had opportunity to know, love, and be loved by students. I have been published. Books and articles that I have written have actually been read (well, I am hoping some people read my books). Plus, I absolutely and completely love the work I do! I get out of bed every day excited about the possibilities of the day!

I have been to places I never thought I would see and fallen in love with traveling. I have had conversations with some of my Baptist heroes. I had multiple phone conversations with two pioneering Baptist women, Addie Davis and Ella Mitchell–before their deaths. I once had lunch with Leena Lavanya, our Baptist Mother Teresa who works for peace and justice in India. And just a few weeks ago, I met Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter.

In my fifty years, I have been connected with churches that have loved and cared for me, including my current church, Cornerstone Church in Grayson. I have also had a whole host of friends who have walked alongside me, friends who suffered through graduate school with me and who I now “talk to” on facebook. I have friends who have shared meals and wisdom with me; friends who have climbed mountains with me; and friends who have told their stories to me and listened to my stories.

At fifty, I am very much aware of the precious gift that is family. Parents and sisters, aunts and nieces, brother-in-laws and nephews–family becomes more and more important the older I get. And I have also have my a husband and two teenage children, who keep me sane and drive me crazy all at the same time. They have taught me and continue to teach me about trust and hope, kindness and forgiveness.

But perhaps most importantly, on this my fiftieth birthday, I remember that I have had a fifty-year faith journey. I was born into a family of strong faith–and my earliest memories are of a God who loved me unconditionally and who welcomed me into relationship.

Looking back at fifty years, my strongest feeling is of gratitude. I am thankful for family and friends, for communities of love and support, and for opportunities of service and ministry. I am thankful to God for fifty years! And today, on November 30, 2011, I am celebrating fifty!

Pam Durso is executive director of Baptist Women in Ministry, Atlanta, Georgia.

Moments of Grace on the Mountain by Pam Durso

July 26th, 2011

Earlier this summer I decided that I would get more exercise. If I am honest, I must confess that I have limited athletic ability and that commitments to exercise for me generally have a short shelf life. Walking on a treadmill–going nowhere–is painfully dull to me. Exercise classes are a little too much shared time with sweaty strangers for me. And while I love yoga, I have a short attention span, and I find my mind wandering during different poses and sometimes I forget to move into next pose.

As I was trying to think of what I could do that would be challenging yet fun, I decided that I would start climbing Stone Mountain a couple times a week. I live about a twenty-five minute drive from Stone Mountain Park, and inside the park is a “granite” mountain that is at its peak an elevation of almost 1,700 feet. You can climb the west side of the mountain. The 1.3 mile trail is made up of rocks and gravel, and at points you step from rock to rock. But right near the top is a section in which a handrail was installed because of the steepness of the climb. Once you reach the top, the view is spectacular. You can even see downtown Atlanta. And the cool breeze at the top of the mountain is amazing.

The best part for me about climbing Stone Mountain this summer has been that most times I haven’t had to do it alone! I have “talked” friends and family into going with me. My daughter, Alex, has agreed to get up really early and go (and she is NOT a morning person). My friend, Devita, has climbed a few times with me, and my friend, Gwen, and her daughter, Robin, have been climbing partners.

I have become pretty good at climbing the mountain. I can now make it to the top and only have to stop once–after the handrail section–to catch my breath. Coming down the mountain, however, is still tricky for me. The walk down really is much easier than the climb up and takes half the time, but I have always had this unexplainable fear of walking down steep steps. Standing at the top of a high staircase makes me nervous. I always, always hold on to handrails while walking down any stairs that have more than three steps.

Last summer I climbed up Diamond Head in Honolulu, Hawaii, not knowing that there are several sections of stairs, including one that has 99 steep steps. I made it up to the top of Diamond Head just fine, but once I was at the top, I begin to worry about walking down all those steps. I had a moment of panic, thinking about how embarrassed I would be if we had to call for a helicopter rescue.  And I kind of forgot to tell my friend, Suzanah, about my going-down-steep-stairs fear until we were at the top–luckily she is the forgiving type, and she patiently walked slowly down with me–as I clung to the handrail and took really deep breaths. And I made it down!

So climbing Stone Mountain–the going up part is really enjoyable for me, but walking down that steep incline near the top of the mountain causes me some uncomfortable moments. Alex knows me well–and she walks patiently with me on those steep parts and sometimes holds my hand. The first time I climbed the mountain with Gwen I confessed to her my fear, and we joked about her having to hold my hand on the walk down. But I made it that on that first trip down the mountain with her without hesitation.

But last week when we climbed, I did have a moment of hesitation, and Gwen reached over and without a word took my hand. And she held my hand through the steepest part of the walk down. After a few minutes, she smiled at me and let go of my hand. We kept walking side-by-side. Her care for me . . . her holding my hand–I had no words to describe how loved I felt in that moment. I still don’t have words, but I am so, so grateful for my friend, Gwen.

Pam Durso is executive director of Baptist Women in Ministry and lives not too far away from Stone Mountain, Georgia.

Laughing with Friends by Pam Durso

July 7th, 2011

Working for Baptist Women in Ministry has opened doors for me to wonderful new friendships, including a friendship with Susan Sparks. Susan is the pastor of Madison Avenue Baptist Church in New York. I have “known” Susan now for a couple years, but I met her “live and in person” for the first time in Tampa at our BWIM gathering. She was the speaker for our lunch.

Susan is not only a pastor, she is a standup comedian. So we invited her to share some of her story–and to make us laugh. But if I am really honest with you, I must confess that I kind of dreaded meeting her . . . I was a bit worried that after waiting so long to actually meet her that I might not like her as much as I was thinking I would. Well, let me assure you that I was NOT disappointed. Susan “in person” is even more amazing than Susan “via email” or  Susan “on facebook.” She is warm and friendly, kind and gracious–as well as brilliant and funny. Our lunch crowd fell in love with her, and I did too.

And lots of folks at the lunch went home with a signed copy of Susan’s book, Laugh Your Way to Grace: Reclaiming the Spiritual Power of Humor. If you haven’t read it, the theme that runs through the book is that humor and healing are connected. Susan’s writes, ” Humor offers a revolutionary, yet simple, spiritual paradigm: If you can laugh at yourself, you can forgive yourself. And if you can forgive yourself, you can forgive others.” And she is so right!

If you want to know more about Susan, visit her website–it has lots of photos of cool cowboy boots! Or read the ABP article written about her by Norm Jameson. Or go to New York, visit her church, hear her preach. I bet she would greet you with a big hug and a smile . . . because that is indeed, who she is!

Pam Durso is the executive director of Baptist Women in Ministry, Atlanta, Georgia. (Photo courtesy of Emily Holladay, Baptist superstar and Cooperative Baptist Fellowship photographer).