The Sabbath of Motherhood by Elizabeth Mangham Lott
April 20th, 2010 by bwimadmin
You don’t have to look far to find reports of how infrequently individuals in the United States find rest. Sadly, ministers in the church are no exception to this un-resting rule. I had so hoped my contemporaries in ministry, this new generation of women coming into places of service, would function differently and challenge the unhealthy work norms that have crept from corporate America into the church. Yet many of us are simply following that too-fast-pace in lock-step with the dominant culture as we brag about our endless meetings, compare notes on unending work, and relish in how impressively hard and long the clergy types labor.
I’m not on a church staff right now. I’m one of many minister-mothers who is cobbling together a freelance ministerial identity while also mothering two little ones. I’ve been at this mothering business for a few years now but have sometimes likened it to a wild horse being broken by savvy cowboys in the old, wild West. In case you’re wondering, I’m the wild horse. My culture has taught me to move quickly, to master to-do lists, to rest little, to vacation less, and to boast on Facebook about exhaustion and work accomplished. My children, however, have taught me to be still.
We grown-ups often think we are too busy for a day of rest or fantasize about the vacation that will enable us to rest one day, some day, another day. The Sabbath of motherhood is teaching me to discover rest as an integrated way of life. The more my life slows down, the more I begin to reconsider priorities and learn to carve out time in creative ways. I use work time differently and more effectively as my work is shaped around my slow life. The rest informs my work, my work is changed by my rest.
My children do not grasp how urgent my curriculum timeline is; they want to play in the sandbox. My son does not honor my pressing need to craft a sermon; he wants to tell knock-knock jokes. My daughter does not know the words for deadline or grant proposal; she wants to sit in the sun and blow bubbles. There are times when I throw my hands up in frustration because I need to get a few things done, dang it! But these two children are slowly, steadily teaching me to be still. With them I find rest. Through them, God is teaching me what Sabbath-honoring life really looks like.
What stills you? Where do you find rest? How will you slow your pace today?
This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 20th, 2010 at 2:02 pm and is filed under Elizabeth Mangham Lott. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
April 20th, 2010 at 3:00 pm
Elizabeth–I’m much older than you and I wish I’d known (or believed) these things sooner. Your post touches a sensitive nerve for me. I see young people taking on way too much activity–and not doing it well–succumbing to the “consumer-mentality” of our culture–you must be global, do everything, known everything, experience everything, have everything. If you don’t, you’re behind.
Wonder where these young’uns got this? Sadly, I’m afraid it’s partly from me and my fellow first-wave baby boomers. We tried to perfect multi-tasking and being what we thought was successful and began bragging about it long before Facebook.
Thank you for your thoughtful words. We all need courage to slow down in every way imaginable. Maybe we could hear God.
April 20th, 2010 at 3:15 pm
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April 20th, 2010 at 7:45 pm
We each find the work-life balance that fits our family and our person, and that looks different for each of us. I recognize that. My hope for each of us is to be fully present to our lives. When we pause to breathe and notice the moment, we are embracing something of a Sabbath way.
Frederick Buechner writes: “It is the first day because it has never been before and the last day because it will never be again. Be alive if you can all through this day because this day today is your life. What’s to be done? What’s to be done? Follow your feet. Put on the coffee, start the orange juice, the bacon, the toast. Then go wake up your children and your spouse. Think about the work of your hands… Live in the needs of the day.”
April 28th, 2010 at 3:53 pm
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