The next day, not yet having heard the NPR story of the outgoing clergywoman, a Presbyterian pastor friend shared this quote by Tomas Halik, “The real difference between faith and atheism is patience. Atheists are not wrong, only impatient . . . . Faith is a patient endurance of the ambiguity of the world and the experience of God’s absence. . . . Patience with others is love./ Patience with self is hope./ Patience with God is faith.” Clearly, I do not know the full story of this former Methodist pastor or the substance of her struggle and journey that led her to no longer find truth in the Christian tradition. My desire here is not to speak to her choices or her journey, but I do stand beside her as a doubter and seeker of truth. The questions she has raised are not new or frightening to me. If anything, I wonder sometimes what keeps me within the fold and what prompts me to continue rethinking and reinterpreting the way I understand the story of God.

God knows, I am impatient. Often. Impatient with my children, impatient with myself, impatient when trying to figure out what the next thing will be for work or school or home or dinner. I work consciously to resist my urge to know all and hurry through all. Being aware of my impatience is a good task for my life in the church, as well. Anyone who is having honest conversations about the future of the church in North America is talking about dwindling congregations and gigantic campuses to maintain. We are shifting from doing the old programs of a church week to a more fluid notion of understanding ourselves as living within a story as local faith communities that live out a theology together. We easily grow impatient when wondering what the next step will be, and that impatience can prevent us from fully seeing and knowing the present. What we have known as church for years is dying, and much of it really needs to perish.

But as I sit with my honest questions and ponder the complicated relationship between my deepest fears and deepest hopes, I remain a person of faith in a God who moves and creates and weaves a story. For weeks now I have reread the introductory words from Lauren Winner’s newest book, Still: Notes on a Mid-Faith Crisis. Her words on faith and doubt speak to the impatient, unknowing, waiting place of life and ministry and risky theism. Winner nudges us toward understanding doubt as an element of faith, as Paul Tillich suggested. She writes of the doubting place:

“[I]n those same moments of strained belief, of not knowing where or if God is, it has also seemed that the Christian story keeps explaining who and where I am, better than any other story I know. On the days when I think I have a fighting chance at redemption, at change, I understand it to be these words and these rituals and these people who will change me.” (preface, page xiv)

I want to find out how the story ends. I want to know how God’s story will continue to write my own. I really do want to jump ship sometimes, but I just can’t do it. I’m too impatient! I want to find out how that next chapter goes.

Elizabeth Mangham Lott lives in Richmond, Virginia. In addition to her mothering job, she also serves as associate pastor at Richmond’s Westover Baptist Church.

When I was in seminary, roses on Mother’s Day led to an emotionally charged moment in worship. On that fateful morning the young children of the congregation went to the front of the sanctuary to be handed a rose to give to their moms. Gleeful little faces ran back to moms with calls of “This is for you, Mommy.” What a sweet moment until a woman in the front started yelling, “I want one. I want a rose.” This woman was a special needs adult who attended regularly. We all knew her, or so we thought. Turns out, she was yelling because she wanted to be a mother. She had asked her parents and her caregivers if she could have a child. She had been told, “No.” When those roses were passed out, her heart collapsed into pleas of wanting a rose, or as I now know, a child. The quick thinking, compassionate person seated next to her procured a rose just for her. In that moment, I began to question celebrating Mother’s Day as a part of corporate worship.

Later on, I served as a staff minister for another church. As we were planning worship for May, the music minister listed the hymns adoring godly families and loving mothers that he had chosen, and the pastor asked if the floral committee was doing the arrangement of roses. Remembering the cry of the lady who so wanted to be a mother, I asked, “Why are we celebrating mothers when so many families are blended?  When there are people who are alienated from their mothers?  When there are families struggling with fertility issues? Why not just celebrate worship as usual?” I was told by the other church staff, “Our congregation will expect us to celebrate Mother’s Day. There will be angry voice messages and curt comments later in the week if we ignore mothers. We can’t ignore Mother’s Day. Therefore, we will do as we have always done.”

It is easy to fall into the pattern of doing as we have always done while ignoring the real lives of our congregants. It is easy to forget that motherhood, either being a mother, wanting to be a mother, or losing a part of the mothering role, is complicated. Mother’s Day while joyous and sentimental for many congregants is a reminder of unhealed hurts and unfulfilled desires for others. My question is “Should we honor mothers during corporate worship when doing so causes discomfort to those for whom mother is not a joyous, sentimental role?”  I come from a long tradition of honoring mothers at church, but I also value the stories of friends and family who feel the pain of attending worship and feeling singled out because they do not have a good relationship with their moms or because of fertility issues. I believe worship should be a place of welcome and healing for all. Therefore, I now question whether Mother’s Day should have a spot in corporate worship.

Tammy Abee Blom is an ordained Baptist minister, regular contributor to BWIM’s blog, mother of two amazing daughters, teacher for children’s Sunday School, and lives in Columbia, South Carolina.

Dearest Meg,

On this special day when your gifts as minister are recognized and blessed by God and this congregation, I offer another blessing represented by this stole.  Two years ago, at my ordination, you laid hands on me and joined a community that I carry within me everywhere I go.  On that afternoon, I was presented with this stole.

This stole was given to me by Rev. Alica Kirkpatrick-Bremer, my mentor and my sister.  She serves as the associate pastor of Auburn First Baptist Church in Auburn, Alabama.  This stole came to her by way of Rev. Ginny Brown Daniel, who serves as the pastor of the Plymouth United Church of Christ in Houston, Texas.

Meg, unnumbered women called by the Holy One to the ordained ministry have worn and passed on this stole.  This stole is to be received and then given away.  For two years I have worn this stole and now it is time for me to pass it on.  Meg, you are charged to receive and wear this stole knowing that in the Spirit there are untold women blessing and standing with you in your ministry.  You may not keep this stole forever for there are untold women to follow you.  You are also charged to give this stole away to another woman in ministry.

In grace, as you wear this stole, may you continue to live in God’s love for you and to live out God’s love to all people.  May this stole represent for you the need to give and to receive.  Hear and live these words as blessing, offered as a prayer on behalf of all God’s people…

May you love and be loved.

May you nourish and be nourished.

May you lead and be led.

May you know abundant life!

Now and forever. Amen.

Love,

Rev. Ruth Perkins Lee

Meg Olive is family support specialist at Open Door Community House, Inc., Columbus, Georgia. Ruth Perkins Lee is the minister of students at Auburn First Baptist Church, Auburn, Alabama.  

Rev. Alica Kirkpatrick-Bremer wrote the original version of this letter for the ordination of Ruth Perkins Lee. Ruth updated it for Meg Olive’s ordination service. 

A year ago we at Pulaski Heights did not know many of our neighbors.  Each Wednesday evening at supper we saw dozens of walkers and joggers. We saw parents pushing baby strollers. And we wondered, “How can we meet these folks? Do they even know who we are and what goes on here?”

What was born of the prayers and discussions that followed those questions is the Hillcrest Farmers Market, which operates May through September on Saturdays from 7 a.m. to noon. The organizing of the market followed a church-wide study about how to be “missional” by serving the community. The market is supported through a grant from the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship’s  It’s Time program.  

We saw that neighbors were interested in community service, and we hoped the market would lend a relevance to our church’s ministries.  We hoped by seeing what we do they might also learn about us and our church and be open to learning more about Christ who motivates our living.

On Saturday, May 5, 2012, we will celebrate the grand opening of our second season. In the last year, hundreds of shoppers have come by. They visit with each other and church folks, sip coffee, buy a gourmet sandwich from the Food Truck, sit on the church steps, and enjoy a leisurely morning.

The market currently has fifteen vendors, all whom bring locally grown products.  Farmers agree they will sell only what they grow or produce.  The market offers seasonal produce as well as cheese, eggs, pasture-raised meats, jams, jellies, and baked goods.

Each Saturday the church puts up a hospitality tent and hands out information about Pulaski Heights. Shoppers may preregister for Vacation Bible School or other church activities. We also invite folks to sign up for emails about other special events they might enjoy. The church sponsors a children’s tent each week, offering craft fun for children as their parents shop. There is also a children’s gardening project, “The Mustard Seed Ministry,” which gives kids a chance to plant seeds in the flower gardens at the market and learn basic gardening skills to carry through life. The youth serve coffee and water and accept donations to their summer mission travel.  The coffee is donated by a local coffee shop.

The market has a food donation program too. Produce donated at the end of the market by vendors is picked up by Dorcas House—a shelter for women and children who are homeless or are victims of domestic abuse.  The vendors receive a contribution receipt for their tax records.

“This ministry may be the most significant thing we have done in a number of years,” said Randy Hyde,  Pulaski Height’s senior pastor.   The church has had enthusiastic response from the residents and merchants. We have experienced positive support from the congregation.  We believe we have found an ideal new program to engage us with our community for healthy living, to serve our neighbors, and for faith growth as well.”

Carolyn Staley is associate pastor of discipleship and missions at Pulaski Height Baptist Church, Little Rock, Arkansas. Carolyn serves on the Baptist Women in Ministry Leadership Team.

I began at Sharon Baptist on April 1.  I knew I was doing the right thing, was certain this was where God was leading, but honestly, I was not sure how I felt about leaving campus ministry.  I wasn’t sure if I was ready to be the pastor of a church.  I found myself thinking, “What am I doing?  What if I don’t have what it takes?”

But it’s been incredible.  I know we are still in the honeymoon phase of our relationship (the church and me), but I love being a pastor more than I thought possible.  Here are some of the things I love.

-  I love preaching.  I love “hosting” worship each week, welcoming people into the sanctuary and a time of worship.  I love offering prayers over people.  This is not very eloquent . . . but it’s such a big deal. I get to step in on their behalf and communicate with God directly for all of us.  It is an incredible responsibility.

-  I love the children.  I did not expect for the kids to take to me so quickly.  I love that a three-year-old crawled in my lap at an event on Sunday afternoon to snuggle with me and have a tickle fight.  I love that one of the four-year-old girls in the church was so excited I was coming that she was announcing it to everyone, including random people in Walmart, that they were getting a new pastor and her name was Charity.  I love that a seven-year-old has nicknamed me “PC” . . . Pastor Charity.  I love that a four-year-old boy would say a prayer in church because, “If Pastor Charity asked me to do it, then I will.”  It such an incredible opportunity not just for me to feel loved on, but an opportunity for them to feel loved by me and then see me offer prayers for them, preach and le,ad worship.

-  I love how I am using all of my gifts in ways I didn’t know they could be used.  Only in the pastorate would one afternoon find you kneeling in the halls of a nursing home holding the hand of a woman who doesn’t know who you are (and sometimes who she is), lead a Bible study discussion that night, have lunch with a well-known business man in the area the next day (a lunch that is interrupted by a phone call from a gubernatorial candidate) and then go sit on bleachers into the night cheering on the softball team.

I love how God is using every part of me for this role.  I love the people of Sharon Baptist Church already.  I am excited to see what God has in store for our future.

Charity Roberson is pastor of Sharon Baptist Church, Smithfield, North Carolina. Follow her blog Living Fabulousness.

For several weeks, my toddler had been using her newfound sense of “no” in regards to her food choices. She would either eat nothing or only certain foods. I was convinced her nutrition was poor, and therefore, her health at risk. I was sure that as her mom, I was supposed to make Eve eat. The words from Dr. Y opened up a new world to me, a world where I could create opportunities but could not force the outcome.

Now as a pre-adolescent, Eve has found a new focus for her steadfast, “no.” Eve does not want to attend church. The daughter of a minister, Eve has been attending church since she was six weeks old. She has been given freedom of choice about participating in children’s choir or in children’s ministry events. She has not been given a choice about attending Sunday school and worship. However, she is consistent in her Sunday morning whine and protest. She lists all the things other kids (and adults) list as reasons for not attending church. She can be quite convincing, almost.

Eve is nine years old, and I take her to church despite her protests. I struggle with her dislike of church. As a minister, participation in a faith community is vital for me. Firmly I believe in the community of the saints, and I believe the saints sit next to you in the pews. I believe in the church universal. I believe that Christians all over the world gather to worship, and I want to be counted as one of their number. Attending church is bigger than whether or not I want to show up. I can explain that to an adult, but what do I say to a nine year old?

Currently, I tell her, “We attend church as a family and you are part of this family. Get dressed, and be ready on time.” As of now, I can take her to church but soon, the decision will be hers. Will my heart accept it if she chooses to not be a church goer? I know she is growing in her faith journey. She is learning the faith stories and has made a profession of faith. I am not worried about her loving God. I am worried about her turning away from something I value and hold dear. I guess this is a part of becoming an adult, part of casting parent as other so you can form your identity. But every Sunday, when she whines, “But I don’t want to go to church” my heart catches in my throat, and I wonder if I can accept that I can’t make her love church.

Tammy Abee Blom is an ordained Baptist minister, regular contributor to BWIM’s blog, mother of two amazing daughters, teacher for children’s Sunday School, and lives in Columbia, South Carolina.

Once we were home, I put the rolls in the oven while the girls set the table with the wedding china. I poured icy glasses of sweet tea and filled with table with food. We sat together, held hands, and started sharing. In that moment, I recognized the joy of Easter. I felt the presence of community and the connectedness of people who know me. All day I had longed for the revelation of community, and here it was.

Like most churches, our gospel lesson for the Sunday after Easter was Luke’s account of the road to Emmaus. Still trying to reconcile why I did not experience the risen Christ in our worship at church, I began preparing my Sunday school lesson plan. As I read the passage, I commiserated with the two friends on the road to Emmaus. They were friends of Jesus who had dressed up and shown up. They had been in Jerusalem for Passover and then present for Jesus’ death and burial. They had hoped for Jesus to be the Messiah. On the third day after his death, they decided to seek community and condolences elsewhere, particularly Emmaus.

The friends wanted to experience the risen Christ just as I had hoped for a joyous experience of abundant life. They had looked for Jesus in the place where they expected him to be and not finding him, they decided to move on. Even though Jesus had shared the journey with the friends, they did not recognize him until he sat at table with them.

Like the friends, I looked and looked for the risen Lord on Easter morning in the place I expected him. Then I gave up and headed out. I had marked the day up to “an Easter that just didn’t connect with me.” And then I sat down with Doug, Eve, and Audrey, and we asked the blessing, passed the rolls, and shared our stories. In that moment, I recognized the joy of the risen Christ. An immense peace settled over me as I shared food with the ones I love and who love me. Jesus was at table with us and I recognized him.

Tammy Abee Blom is an ordained Baptist minister, regular contributor to BWIM’s blog, mother of two amazing daughters, teacher for children’s Sunday School, and lives in Columbia, South Carolina.

Dear Addie

Baptist Women in Ministry’s  Dear Addie ministry was launched for those types of questions . . . and to provide a safe space to ask a seasoned minister, an Addie, for some advice. Seventeen ministers have agreed to serve as Team Addie. These women bring years of experience, gleaned from a host of ministry positions, to the conversation. Each “Addie” will serve as part of a monthly rotation, providing a listening ear via e-mail and offering a response to questions within 48 hours.

You can help by praying for this ministry. Pray for grace and wisdom as Addies respond.

You can also help by spreading the word. Tell your colleagues. Announce it in your seminary classrooms. Publish it in your church newsletters. Post it on Facebook. Blog. Tweet.

Dear Addie is one of the ministries of encouragement and edification that BWIM provides. I invite you to partner with us in prayer . . . and partner with us financially as we strive to advocate for, encourage, edify, and connect women who are following God’s call into ministry.

Katrina Brooks is a member of the Baptist Women in Ministry Leadership Team and is the coordinator of the Dear Addie Project! She is an adjunct religion professor at Danville Community College and lives in South Boston, Virginia. 

On Saturday, March 24, fifty women (and a few men) came from all over Georgia for the annual gathering that involved time for worship, recognition, and fellowship.  The steering committee covered every detail in organizing the event, but something happened that was not necessarily planned.   The sense of community and support the women provided for one another was more evident than ever before.

As pastor for the day, Katrina Stripes Brooks expressed how difficult it was for her to compose her sermon.  She felt God really placed something on her heart to share, but she could not find the words to say it.  She expressed the hurt that females in ministry often experience and presented an honest portrayal of the fatigue and self-consciousness that arise.  She stressed the fact that, as fellow women in ministry, we need to be constantly giving support and encouragement to one another.  We are not to be torn down and ignored when we know that we have a gift to share.

We were reminded of the character Abeline from the book, The Help. She nannied a young girl who rarely received any attention from her parents and reminded the girl each day, “You is kind, you is smart, you is important.”  This message is one that cannot be spoken enough to our fellow women in ministry as a simple reminder of our individual and shared worth.  Katrina led a time of blessing in which she, along with the organizations newly elected president, Gwen Brown, handed each woman a bead, looked them in the eyes and told them, “You are kind, you are smart, you are important.”  There was not a person in the room who did not need to hear this. Tears filled eyes, hugs were shared, prayers were spoken.

The emotions, expressions, and relationships taking shape were never more evident than in this moment.  I did not have to search to capture a moment worth remembering.  The moments were evident in every interaction.

Meggie Dant is a McAfee School of Theology student and an employee of the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship. She also serves on the Baptist Women in Ministry of Georgia’s steering committee.  This blog was first posted on the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship’s blog. 

What exactly is “the coffee house?” you ask.

“the coffee house” is a non-profit, volunteer-run establishment that operates out of a building owned by University Heights Baptist Church and is located one block from the Oklahoma State University campus. It is a cool little space that was the original home of Hideway Pizza.  ”the coffee house” functions on a monthly stipend provided by Cooperative Baptist Fellowship of Oklahoma, because we are considered a mission, and University Heights Baptist Church currently provides funding and support for a coffee house intern who oversees the ordering of supplies, the recruitment of volunteers, the scheduling of special events, and so much more.  With a pool of some twenty college student volunteers, we run smoothly on Mondays-Thursdays, noon to 11 p.m., and Sundays from 3-8 p.m.  One hundred percent of our proceeds are donated to local and international organizations that help to create change in the world: World Vision, Samaritan’s Purse, His Nets, Faith Medical Missions, and so forth.

How did it begin?

Four years ago the vision was planted: An expensive espresso machine found in the church + a building with fantastic potential sitting vacant on most weekdays + Holy Spirit adding a dash of imagination = a non-profit coffee house run by volunteer college students.  It took two months to get the place up and running, several hours watching YouTube videos on “How to Make a Latte,” and a further two years of “business” before the students began to take ownership of the operation.  Now it is a fully functioning coffee house that is, in short, a miracle.

What is its purpose?

From the very beginning, the goal of “the coffee house” was to provide a safe and positive environment for students to study.  Its goal was not to raise funds for “helping” organizations, nor to proselytize, nor to be a trendy outreach tool for the church. But with that being said, every week “the coffee house” serves as a venue for a dozen Bible studies ranging from Athletes in Action to Life Church Life Groups to a community-wide women’s discipleship group; it is home to countless one-on-one discipleship meetings; it has served more than a dozen students and campus organizations (this school year alone) with a space for benefit concerts; and its walls are continually absorbing the sound of volunteers building relationships and having intentional conversations with patrons.  We’re seeing students (who know Jesus and those who don’t) drawn to the place; they continually comment upon its unique atmosphere.  We hear words like “peaceful” and “positive energy.”  You and I both know that it can only be Holy Spirit.

In conclusion, God is at work in our midst in “the coffee house.” The next time you’re in our neck of the woods (Stillwater, Oklahoma) come and experience it for yourself: a latte with love at the corner of Third and Knoblock.

Marquette Bugg is university minister at University Heights Baptist Church, Stillwater, Oklahoma. She wrote this column for the Cooperating Baptist Fellowship of Okahoma‘s newsletter.